The Voice
by SillyOldThing
Summary: Reid gets personal advice from an unexpected source. Too personal. Ch. 6 up! Story updated
1. The Voice

**The Voice**

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds.**_

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_"Chastity - the most unnatural of all the sexual perversions."_ -Aldous Huxley

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SSA Dr Spencer Reid tossed and turned in his hotel room bed. He couldn't sleep. He glanced at the clock. It was 2 am

"Arghh," he moaned. 'I have to be up in 5 hours. Then he heard it again.

"_Pssst, Spencer!"_

"Go away," Reid hissed.

_"No Spencer, we need to talk."_

Reid covered his ears, "No! Go away"

"_Not until you talk to me, _" said the voice.

Reid gave a cry of frustration, "No. Please no."

_"I don't understand. Why wont you talk to me?"_

Spencer put his hands over his eyes and groaned, "Because you're not real, that's why"

_" Not Real, you can't be serious. We've known each other for years!"_

"Look," Reid said, his voice hard. " I made you go away once, I can do it again"

" _Pshaw! _I _made me go away,_" The voice countered. "_Now lookie here Spency, if you really refuse to speak to me, I can make sure that not only will you hear me, you'll SEE me as well. I'll be the one dancing on Hotch's desk in a thong."_

Reid sat up, "You wouldn't!"

"_Spencer, what's the problem?_ _We were best friends when you were a kid. Remember when your mom would have those episodes and we would talk in your room for hours? And later on, when you got older, you were all ears when you wanted to discuss cold fusion or quantum physics. But, oh no, when I need to discuss _you_, you play the 'You're not real' card."_

Reid felt cornered, " Ok ok fine, I'll talk to you. Just promise me you'll stay away after this."

"_We'll see,_" the voice said.

There was silence... then more silence. Reid got impatient. " WELL, WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT?"

_"Oh, sorry. I was just thinking of the time when Hotch had the whole team over to his house for dinner, and everytime Haley would speak I would go 'BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH' in your ear really loud. It was so funny, you kept leaning closer and closer to her so you hear her until you were practically in her lap!"_

"Oh_ yeah_. That was _hilarious_."

_"Hey, she was flattered. She thought you were into her,"_ the voice giggled.

"So did Hotch. He gave me the cold shoulder for three weeks."

_"Really! Man, how could you tell? Oh oh! Remember that time at the Chinese restaurant in New York, when everytime you tried to put food in your mouth I yelled BOO!!?"_

Reid was impatient now, "You said you wanted to speak to me?'

"_Oh yeah, sorry. Ok Spency, it's about your love life. I think it's about time to give it up. Get off the virgin train, you know; the horizontal mambo, the beast with two backs. You know what I'm talkin about."_

"WHAT!?" Reid was shocked.

_"Relax, calm down. All I'm saying is you need to meet someone. A girl, a guy, I don't care, just do it already. It's time to have sex. "_

"I don't think that's any of your business," Reid huffed

_"C'mon guy,. you don't even self serve. Isn't that stuff startin' to back up on you?"_

Reid jumped out of bed, thoroughly disgusted. "That's it!" he yelled. "Get out, go away, you're not real!"

Just then, there was a knock at his door. Reid put his fingers to his lips and said, "Shh."

He crossed the room and opened to door to see Derek Morgan standing there in his boxer shorts and t -shirt, looking concerned.

"Reid man, I heard yelling coming from your room. Everything ok?"

Reid pretended to be puzzled, "Hi Morgan, everythings fine. I had the TV on awhile ago. Maybe that's what you heard."

Morgan didn't look convinced. He peered into Reid's room, attempting to get a look around. Reid smiled at him.

"Well, ok then Reid, just get some sleep. Busy day tomorrow."

"Goodnight Morgan," Reid shut the door, leaned back and took a moment to compose himself.

"_Still here amigo,_" said the voice calmly.

Reid hung his head in defeat. He was too tired to fight now.

"Please go," he pleaded.

The voice softened, "_Alright pal, I'll go. Will you promise to at least think about what I said?"_

"Yes yes, fine, just go."

" _Goodnight Spencer."_

"Goodnight."

Then there was silence. Reid let out a sigh of relief and slumped back into bed.

"I've got to get some rest, now Morgan's going to think I talk to voices or something." He punched his pillow and finally he began to drift off to sleep. His last concious thought:

"Hmm, self serve? I never thought of that."

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**Fin**

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**A/N:** I know this is pretty silly, but could I get your reviews anyway?


	2. The Voice Returns

**Return of the Voice**

Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds.

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_"Hearing voices no one else can hear isn't a good sign, even in the wizarding world." -JK Rowling_

There it was again. Maybe if he pretended to be asleep it would leave him alone.

"_Spencey! Spencey, wake up.'_

Apparently Spencer was not that lucky. 'Oh well, might as well get it over with and talk to it...' He got out of bed, trudged to the living room and sat down.

"Ok, here I am, If you want to talk to me I'm out here!" He shouted, not caring whether the neighbours heard him or not.

_"Hey old bean, no need to be rude. It's just me, you know"_

"I know it's you, I thought you were going to leave me alone?"

The voice merely emitted a low chuckle. "W_hy are you playing dumb Spencer?" It asked._

"I don't know what you mean," Spencer sounding a little squeaky.

The voice laughed again, not a happy laugh. "I_ think you do Spency, it's alright; it will be just between the two of us. No one will ever know."_

Reid stood up. "Look I know you haven't spoken to me since that time in the hotel. What do you want from me? I did what you asked."

_"Excuse me, did I miss something?" _The voice said.

"Apparently you have; I took your advice, I am seeing a girl. Well, I mean ... She's a very pretty bartender named Austin."

_"I see, and what is it you do exactly with this girl?"_ The voice asked.

Reid blushed. "We talk on the phone."

_"Uh huh, and she lives how far away?"_

"Umm, 786 miles away," he mumbled.

_"Oh my, I hope you're practicing safe sex."_

Reid ignored him, "I'll have you know that I'm also doing that other thing... you know?"

"_What other thing?"_

"The self serve thing," He whispered. "I mean just once in a while, not all the time."

_"Yeah I know, like when Emily wears her red tank top to work and you can see her ni..."_

"Stop!" Reid shouted.

"_Calm down, it's just you and me here. You know why I came to talk to you today?"_

"No I don't"

"_Well, I'm sure you're aware that our relationship has gone on to a new level, and I'm pretty sure you know what I mean." _

Reid hesitated a moment afraid if he actually said this thing aloud, it would make it all too real. "I... I think you have been using me, my voice, making me say and do things"

_"Give the boy a prize!"_ laughed the voice.

"I dont like it." Said Reid quietly, "You made me tell that stupid joke when I was at the University with Rossi"

Reid heard a giggle,_ "Oh man, the look on Rossi's face." _

"Oh and that insane rant about the eviler twin, that was you too," said a disgusted Reid.

"_Aww, c'mon, that was funny" _

Reid was on a roll now. "While were at it, I want you to stop messing with my hair!"

"_Just trying to make inprovements buddy. I like the hair."_

Reid was furious now. "Enough with the tweed vests and the pocketwatch and fob. I am not your own personal ken doll."

There was silence. Reid stood up and listened; maybe it was gone. Reid's anger had scared it away. He stood there for awhile. "Good, perhaps I can get back to sleep now." He said to himself. Spencer returned to his room. These arguments he had always took it out of him. He fell asleep instantly.

"Goodnight old friend, sweet dreams." Said a cool voice in the dark.

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When Reid awoke the next morning. He felt better than he had in years. Once he reached Quantico, he practically swaggered into the BAU office. Morgan instantly noticed the change.

"Hey there kid, you're looking unusually happy this morning."

Reid graced him with a huge smile. "I am happy, I feel like a new man." He saw Emily sit down across from him. He leaned forward, "Emily, I was wondering if you're busy tonight." He smiled at her as he ran his hand over his smooth slicked back hair.

FIN:

AN: I noticed a lot of changes in Reid this season. This was one silly explanation.


	3. Voice of Wisdom

**Voice of Wisdom**

**An: It's been while since I added to this story but I felt the voice had something more to say.**

Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds.

_'If love be good, from whennes cometh my wo?'~_Chaucer.

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_"Spencer, Spencer. It's me!"_

"Yes I know it's you, you don't have to shout, I hear you," Reid said in a dull monotone.

_"What are you doing, why are you sitting here alone in the dark?" _the voice asked.

"Because I feel sad, I miss Emily," he answered simply.

There was a pause before the voice answered, _"Yes I know, I'm very sorry," _the voice said softly.

Then there was silence. Reid looked around his darkened apartment. He hadn't moved in hours. It had been light outside when he first came home. Now he had neither the will nor the energy to get up and turn on a light. He didn't want to argue with the voice either, for once he just accepted it was there.

Reid sighed, "Why are you here; have you come to grill me about having a sex life again?"

"_No, no, I just wanted to tell you that I'm here. I want it to be like the old days when you were little and we were friends and we talked all the time. Remember?"_

"I remember," Reid said sadly.

_"Good Spency, long as you know you can always talk to me ok?"_

The sadness in the room hung there like a heavy damp curtain. Reid furrowed his brow as something occurred to him.

"You're not the one giving me the headaches are you?" Reid asked.

"_No, it's not me," _the voice whispered.

_"_Do you know what is?" Reid asked.

The awkward silence that followed sent a chill down Reid's spine. Maybe it was better he didn't know right now anyway. His thoughts returned to Emily and the last time they spoke and the last time he saw that perfect face. It sent a stabbing pain straight to his heart.

"I loved her," Reid blurted out

_"I know you did."_

"I was in love with her," he said, choking back a sob.

_"I know."_

"What am I going to do?" He was weeping freely now. "I never told her I loved her."

Reid wrapped his arms around himself and rocked his body back and forth as if he were in pain. When he was too exhausted to cry anymore, he finally just curled up into the chair and went to sleep.

The last words he heard before he drifted off were:

_"Gideon was wrong Spencer, It is worth it. They need you."_

_Reid began to dream. He dream't he was in Paris and a beautiful woman with short dark hair and dark shining eyes was walking towards him, her arms open, waiting to embrace him._

_"See, Spencey. It's going to get better, now sleep, I'll be here when you wake up." _and the voice was silent_._

_Fin_

An: In' Derailed' Reid said the voice he heard was helpful to him. Reid was so depressed in 'Hanly Waters'. I wanted to end this story on a hopeful if somewhat creepy note, Reid is hearing voices after all. Please read and review_._


	4. Reid and his Voice

**Reid and his Voice**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds.**

_'It is loneliness thatmakes the loudest noise, This is as true of men as it is of dogs.'~_Eric Hoffer.

Reid poured himself a second cup of coffee. He felt well rested and for once he hadn't woken up with one of his headaches, ones that would increase in intensity as the day wore on. In fact he felt more well rested than he had in months. He took a sip of his coffee and seemed to be considering something, then he took the plunge. He closed his eyes and spoke to the empty room.

"Are you there?" he asked,

There was a distinct pause and then he heard it.

_"Yup, I'm still here."_ a familiar voice answered.

Reid smiled in spite of himself. Usually he felt panic or distress when he heard it, but today he actually felt glad, There would be no denying it's existence today. He heard it, he wasn't alone.

Spencer sat down on his comfortable but shabby sofa.

"I just wanted to say thank you," Reid said.

_"For what?"_

"You know, for last night, for being there to listen." Reid replied.

_"Any time old bean," _

"I had a dream about Emily last night, a good dream," Reid said wistfully.

The voice chuckled. "_Yes, I know,"_ it said.

Reid shook his head "Of course you do, that's pretty silly of me,"

The doorbell rang. Reid sat up "I'll be right there," he called. He spoke to the empty room. "I've got to see who it is," He got up and hurried to the door.

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Morgan and Garcia had been standing outside Reid's apartment door several minutes before they rang the bell. Morgan had told Penelope about Reid's distress during the last case and she suggested they check up on him. They were about to knock when they heard what seemed like half of a conversation.

"I don't hear anyone else talking," Morgan said.

"He's probably on the phone," Garcia suggested when she saw Morgan's worried expression.

Morgan pressed the doorbell, They heard Reid call out to them and then apparently address someone else. Within seconds the apartment door swung open and they were greeted by a smiling Reid, coffee cup in hand.

"Hi guys, what are you doing here? come in ,"

Morgan and Garcia entered the apartment and couldn't help but take a good look around. Reid looked at the two of them expectantly.

"It's not a bad time for you is it, are you busy," Morgan asked, his eyes scanning the hallway behind Reid.

"No, not at all, just sitting around drinking coffee." He answered.

Garcia and Morgan exchanged looks . "Um, we wondered if you wanted to catch breakfast with us. Theres a great place not far from here,"Garcia said.

Reid nodded, "Ok sure, let me put something else on," he said tugging at the ratty t-shirt he was wearing. He turned and walked down the hall into his bedroom. His colleagues stood waiting until they heard him speaking to someone. They crept quietly down the hall til they could see Spencer standing in front of his bed having a conversation with thin air.

"I don't care, I like wearing sweater vests, they're warm and they're comfortable. You can be such a nag sometimes," Reid said, unaware he was being watched.

The two agents in the hall backed away quickly so they wouldn't be seen. Penelope had her hand over her mouth and her eyes began to well with tears.

"Oh Derek," She said.

Morgan felt a little blown away himself. He had just recently reassured Reid he was fine. He forced himself to remain calm.

"Now look babygirl, Reid needs us now." He said.

"What are we going to do?" she whispered.

"First we're gonna stick to him like glue and see how bad this is. Let's suggest a movie tonight,"

"Ok, that's a good idea,"

"What's a good idea?" Reid said as he walked into the room.

"Making you pay for breakfast prettyboy," Morgan said with a grin.

"Hey, you invited me." Reid protested. He ushered his friends out of the apartment and gave a brief nod when he heard the voice tell him to enjoy himself

"Talk to ya later," he said as quietly as he could.

His small apartment was empty and silent.

Fin.

AN: Please read and review.


	5. Chapter 5

**Voice of Reason **

**I do not own Criminal Minds: **

_'Hold me closer tiny dancer' _Bernie Taupin

When Reid entered his apartment he was still humming a tune he danced to at the wedding. He practically waltzed to the kitchen and even did a little spin on the kitchen floor while he was getting the sugar out of the cupboard.

**"**Well someone sure is happy," said a voice from the darkness.

Reid stopped dancing and sighed. "You're back,"

"And you're wearing a tux," said the voice.

"Yes I am and what are you doing here? WE made a deal the last time I spoke to you. Derek and Penelope were nearly ready to have me locked up because of you. Luckily I convinced them I was experimenting with a new type of grief therapy due to the loss of Emily."

"A pretty lame story," said the voice.

"I guess but I suppose it was preferrable to believing I was crazy." added Reid.

"I just want to know why are you singing and dancing around your apartment like a mental case, what's up?" The voice demanded.

Reid smiled. He couldn't believe the happiness he felt. He had danced with Emily several times at the wedding. He felt so close to her. When he held her in his arms she fit so perfectly, it were as if she were mean't to be there. He decided he was going to finally tell her how he felt.

"I'm going to tell Emily I love her," Reid said to the thin air.

"What!, are you crazy? no, just no," said an alarmed voice. "You musn't"

Reid frowned,"Why not? you should have seen the way she was looking at me tonight,"

"She was probably just caught up in the moment, you know, the romance of the whole thing, weddings, vows, moonlight and dancing. Just like you are." explained the voice.

"Why do you not want me to be happy?" said Reid gloomily.

"I do, It's just that I have this feeling..."

Reid huffed a laugh,"Yeah right, a feeling. You're not even real remember?"

"Let's not go there again," said the voice in an exasperated tone. "I'm real enough for you."

"I really don't understand, you used to hound me constantly about having sex," Reid said.

"That was only sex, not hanging your heart out for everyone to see,"

Reid shook his head,"You worry too much. I'm going to tell her tomorrow."

"I don't think I can watch," said the voice with sadness.

"You're ruining this for me, I'm happy, Just for once let me feel happy," Reid pleaded.

"I'm leaving, I don't think I can watch this," the voice repeated.

"Good, now go, I don't need something that isn't even real telling me what to do," said Reid.

Spencer listened for a moment. There was only silence. He went back to humming the same tune and thought of Emily.

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Emily tossed and turned in her bed, she couldn't sleep. She thought about JJ's wedding and how lovely it had been. The whole evening had been bittersweet. She was so happy for JJ, but for herself she had finally come to a decision. One that freed her and broke her heart at the same time.

Ever since she had come back to the BAU, she felt there was something awaiting her but it was just slightly beyond her grasp. Whatever that something was never materialized. She couldn't wait any longer, she had to move on.

Early tomorrow she would tell Hotch she was leaving the BAU, then she would tell the rest of the team when they were together.

She laid her head on her pillow once again and this time sleep finally came to claim her. The romantic melody that had been playing in her head all evening followed her into her dreams; the dreams where she and Reid glided around the dance floor in each others arms.

FIN.

Please read and revieiw


	6. Another Voice

**Another Voice**

Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds.

_'There is another man within me that's angry with me_,' ~ Thomas Browne

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Reid entered his apartment, slammed the door and dropped into the nearest chair. He leaned forward, held his head in his hands and started to rock back and forth. A slight muffled moan escaped his lips.

"What's wrong? " asked a voice from the darkness.

Spencer did not answer, he only continued to slowly rock back and forth like he was in a great deal of pain.

"You told her, didn't you?" said the voice in a somber tone.

"You know damn well I didn't " Spencer answered in a harsh whisper. His long elegant fingers gripping his hair.

"Spencer, talk to me, I'm here for you, like always." said the voice.

"Just say _' I told you so', _isn't that what you want to say, you felt it didn't you?" Reid said, a sob escaping his lips. He did not look up.

"I don't want to say I told you so. I'm sorry, I'm sorry she's leaving and you didn't get a chance to tell her you loved her."

"Why does everyone I love go away.?" he cried. "It hurts so damn much."

"Don't do it Spencer!," said a suddenly alarmed voice.

"Why not?, it feels good. It's the only thing that stops the pain, it makes me forget," he choked out.

"Please Spencer not again; 'I'm begging you,"

"I'm making you go away now." said Reid in a quietly determined tone.

"SPENCER!"

The world slowed down and eventually faded into a deep silence.

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Emily Prentiss lay on her bed wide awake, again she couldn't sleep. She thought that once she had told the team she was leaving it would feel like a weight was lifted off her shoulders. It did to a point.

She had asked that the team be gathered in the conference room after she had spoken to Hotch. Reid was the first to arrive, he appeared to be quite excited about something and said he needed to speak to her. At the same moment the rest of the team showed up.

_"Let me talk to everybody first_" she had said to Reid. He nodded.

He never did say what he wanted after she was done.

Emily punched her pillow and tried to get into a more comfortable position. She took a deep breath and tried to relax; it didn't work. Everytime she closed her eyes all she could see was the stricken look and deep sadness in Reid's eyes.

Fin

AN: Please read and Review. This story was never mean't to have so many chapters but that voice will not shut up.


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